Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday`s deserves to get slapped.
-unknown
Facebook status
Dear Google, could you sit next to me during exams?!
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I make weird faces in photos because it’s better to look ugly on purpose.
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I`m about to rewrite history. History.
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Dear parents, I am fully aware that money doesn`t grow on trees. That`s why I`m asking you for it.
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When you`re in class and someone decides to start packing early, it causes a chain reaction.
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The awkward moment when I`m the most unattractive person yet I want to date the sexiest people on the planet.
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"You`ve changed" ... No actually i think the proper term is "I`ve stopped trying to please you."
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Vodka is just awesome water.
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LIKE IF: When I say I won`t tell anyone, my best friend doesn`t count...
-unknown