That awkward moment when a fat person says "Thats how I roll".
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Facebook status
That awkward moment when your friend crops you out of a photo.
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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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LIKE IF: Pretending to look for your homework when you know you didn`t do it.
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Dear Parents, Thanks for giving me such a weird name. Sincerely, my name is never on those customized keychains.
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A true friend will play ninja with you in the middle of Walmart and think it`s normal.
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She stays up late each night, listening to music that reminds her of you just to help her fall asleep.
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Whenever I get mad, I just imagine a t-rex trying to pick up a basketball.
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Putting on a shirt that says `life` and handing out lemons.
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Air hostess: "Would you like some headphones?" Me: "How did you know my name is Phones?"
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