When I was a kid, the only fake friends I had were invisible ones.
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Facebook status
Black Friday = Broke Saturday.
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When people come over and your mom suddenly becomes the nicest woman in the world…
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When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you’ve done well.
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I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE.
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That awkward moment when you`ve been raising your hand for so long it starts to take that HEIL HITLER angle at the teacher...
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Trust me when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.
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LIKE IF you also think the turtle in Finding Nemo was stoned off his ass.
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If you say `woman` fast enough it sounds like `make me a sandwich`.
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Is constantly torn between being a good person or a sarcastic little prick.
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