I`m not hiding anything, but stop looking at my phone while I`m texting.
-unknown
Facebook status
Why I try samples at stores: 5% I’m thinking of buying the product 95% I want free food.
-unknown
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I say "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"
-unknown
"Shut up, you`re just 12." - Said the 13 year old.
-unknown
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
-unknown
When Harry Styles and Taylor Swift break up she`ll write a song called, "I Went In The Wrong Direction."
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When life knocks me down, instead of getting back up I usually lie there and take a nap.
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I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it`s called "Don`t buy shit you can`t afford!"
-unknown
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.
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The most common phrase in China: "Hey! You look familiar!"
-unknown