Does anyone else wake up in the middle of the night thirsty as hell, and water tastes like it came from God`s personal pond?
-unknown
Facebook status
Dear rappers, please stop putting police sirens in your songs. Sincerely, a paranoid driver.
-unknown
Life is a cruel teacher.. It loves to give you the test now, but the lesson later.
-unknown
NASA is saying that later on today the sky will get very dark and the day will end. They are calling this... night time.
-Brie
"How old is your baby?" "36 months." WHY CAN`T YOU JUST SAY 3 YEARS OLD?
-unknown
December 25th: The ONLY day I`m a morning person.
-unknown
They say all the good ones are taken? Uhm, hello I`M SINGLE!
-unknown
Be careful who you call your friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
-unknown
You`re as useful as a Red Light on Grand Theft Auto.
-unknown
Mayan Guy: Hey wanna beer? Other Mayan Guy: I`m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don`t finish it won`t be the end of the world.
-unknown