I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
-unknown
Facebook status
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
-unknown
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
-unknown
Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
-unknown
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
-unknown
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved. Did you sea what I did there? I’m shore you did, beach.
-unknown
Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
-unknown
I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
-unknown
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
-unknown
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
-unknown