I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001.
-unknown
Facebook status
Status that only guys could relate to: *fake punch*, *fake punch*, *bang!*...omg sorry..
-unknown
I`m no scientist, but you`re an idiot.
-unknown
I have a disease called awesome. You won`t understand it since you don`t have it.
-unknown
I`m not lazy, I`m just highly motivated not to do anything.
-unknown
*Alarm set for 6:00 a.m* *Wakes up at 5:59* Who else lies back down to cherish that last minute of sleep?
-unknown
Alcohol logic: Yellow colored wine is called "White wine" because its made from green grapes.
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My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those lines between my eyebrows...those are my "WTF?" lines.
-unknown
Dating Advice: Date me.
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Those who like me, raise your hand and for those who don`t, raise your standards.
-unknown