Facebook status

Be with someone who won’t stay mad at you, who can’t stand not talking to you and who’s afraid of losing you.

I wonder how long would it take a giraffe to throw up.

★　　.　　*　　. 　★　　* ★　　*　　　★ .　　　*　　　　★* *　.　　★　　.　★　.　★　　*　　　★gσσd　　　　　　　　
★　　　.　　　* ★　　*　　.　★ 　*　　　★　　　★　　★　　*　.　　★ 　* ★　　*　.　　★ . níght
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Alcohol. Because no good story starts with, "This one time I ate a salad..."

I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips.

Normal person flirting: "Hey sexy;)"
Me flirting: "If you were a potato... you`d be a good potato."

Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a picture that makes her look fat. :)

That awkward moment when someone who always starts drama complains that they hate drama.

Vending machines are so homophobic. I`m sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you.

HOW TO HAVE A GREAT MONDAY:
1. You can`t
2. You won`t
3. You don`t