Facebook status

#Like if your mom also thinks you are the only person who spends all day on the Internet.

I wish my hair was naturally pretty, so I could just wake up in the morning and do nothing with it.

When I was younger, $20 felt like $100.. Now $20 feels like $1 .

We`re not as close as we used to be, but I`m here for you if you need me.

Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention.

Stay classy!

And the rest of you come with me.

I wonder if women in China complain that all guys are the same.

I can’t promise that I’ll be here for the rest of your life but I can promise that I’ll love you for the rest of mine.

When I dream, I dream of you. Maybe one day, dreams will come true. Because, I really love you.

I love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all you are yet to be.

Me: Hello sir, Would you like a Facebook? Stranger: Sure?
Me: Okay. See? -Points at face-
Stranger: Oh no. Ive changed my answer!
Me: -Points to book- Book. -Quickly Shoves book into- his face-
Stranger: OW!
Me: What? You asked for a "Face" "Book"! And I gave you one. Your Welcome.