Cereal is an acceptable meal at all times of the day.
-unknown
Facebook status
I`m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink... I already have one.
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Silly phone, that wasn`t a "missed" call. That was a "I looked and saw who it was and pressed ignore" call.
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If John has 100 pieces of bacon, and he eats 20, what does John have?
Happiness.
John has happiness.
Happiness.
John has happiness.
-unknown
iPhone > Android > Nokia > Land phone > Typewriter > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > Blackberry
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Keep your friends close and your laptop charger closer.
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When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
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Bro Discussion: Tag the three friends you would choose to be with you in the zombie apocalypse..?
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How to get your friend to do something stupid -
"Don`t be a bitch dude."
"Don`t be a bitch dude."
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I get so excited about sleeping is that a sign of depression?
-unknown