I don`t want to rule the world... Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
-Dorian
Facebook status
If watermelon exists why doesn’t earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon? The elemelons.
-Dorian
Cop: You been drinking? Me: No. Cop: Say the alphabet backwards. Me: Alphabet the. Cop: Hilarious. Say each letter. Me: Each letter.
-Dorian
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
-Dorian
Sign said "WET PAINT" So I emptied my Dasani water bottle on it. I`m currently waiting on further instructions.
-Dorian
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I`m not sure what it means.
-Dorian
I`m going to start wearing a whistle around my neck, so I can call penalties on people who piss me off.
-Dorian
being retweeted is basically saying "i feel you my nigga"
-unknown
Big shout out to nature for not giving spiders wings.
-unknown
things that are enjoyable: • showers
things that are not enjoyable: • getting in the shower • getting out of the shower
things that are not enjoyable: • getting in the shower • getting out of the shower
-unknown