Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.
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Facebook status
Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in you’ll disappear.
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Slang is short for “Short Language”. So slang is slang for slang.
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People under 20 or so will never understand how “227774446640446666330644455555” was how you texted someone to pick up milk on the way home.
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The news is basically just someone saying good evening, and then giving you a list of reasons it’s not.
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‘A’ is the only vowel not used to spell any number between 0 and 999.
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“I can’t love you anymore” and “I can’t love you any more” mean two very different things.
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I wonder how many parents won’t use my first name when naming their children because they knew me.
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People who cook at home try to make their food taste like a professional made it, while restaurant chefs try to make food taste homemade.
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You know you’re an adult when, instead of being excited you have more money in your account than you should, you get confused and scared.
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