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The awkward moment when you`ve already said "what?" three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree

Eating a banana for breakfast can help you feel less groggy in the morning. Bananas also help maintain focus and mental health.

It`s much more impressive to do something great and have people find out about it than to do something great and brag to others.

A young executive was leaving his office at 6pm when he saw his CEO in front of the shredding machine. Can you make this thing work? Certainly said the young executive. He turned the machine on inserted the paper and pressed the start button. Excellent,excellent said the CEO as the paper disappeared inside the machine. I just need one copy.

Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second rule has now been increased to 10.

I think the discovery channel should be on a different channel every day.

We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they`ll dig the wrong way. It`s called thinking ahead guys.

I would like to post ads on Craigslist. "IPhone 5s for $20!" Along with the number of people who annoy me...

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

teacher: "where`s your homework?"
me: where`s leonardo`s oscar?