If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
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Being a teenager is the awkward stage where you like adults more than the kids, but the kids like you more than the adults do.
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LIKE IF “See you next year” must be the most over used dad-joke every December.
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Because of time zone differences, New Year’s eve day is like people doing “the wave” on a global scale.
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I’m drunk at the end of every year and drunk at the beginning of ever year.
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The first 18 years of your life are like a Free Trial and after that it’s Pay-To-Play
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The number 14233221 describes itself; it has one four, two threes, three twos, and two ones.
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Cup holders are just cups for cups.
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Falling asleep is the best example of “fake it till you make it”.
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When you yell at your dog for barking at people, does he realize you’re trying to quiet him, or does he think you’re joining in?
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