Don`t punish your "next" for what your "ex" did.
-unknown
Facebook status
Humans: Can`t find a small plane on a small planet, but search for life on other planets.
-Dorian
I`ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very Chuck E Cheese.
-Dorian
I hate it when other people laugh and still look attractive, but when I laugh I look like an awkward horse.
-unknown
I don`t understand why dentists in toothpaste ads have a stethoscope around their neck !
-unknown
If a ping pong ball is dented, putting it in boiling water will restore it back to normal
-unknown
That awkward moment when you`re left alone with someone you just met.
-unknown
The word "muggle" has been added into the Oxford dictionary. It`s defined as a person with no particular skill(s)
-unknown
Never trust someone who lies to you. Never lie to someone who trusts you.
-unknown
The average woman will spend one full year of her lifetime trying to decide what to wear.
-unknown