Ever since I was little, I`ve dreamed about the perfect man. when I met you, that dream came true.
-unknown
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When you drink a glass of water, it has already been drunk by other people and animals, possibly several times over.
-unknown
Band-aids emit a tiny blue flash of light when pulled apart. You can see this happen when you do it in the dark.
-unknown
Small animals, like ants, cannot die by falling from any height.
-unknown
I forgot to turn off my SWAG before I went to sleep yesterday. I woke up homeless and working at McDonalds.
-unknown
Dear grades, get well soon.
-unknown
That awkward moment when someone you hate says something funny and you try not to laugh.
-unknown
Scientists say the world is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
-unknown
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
-unknown
I want to steal a doughnut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny watching cops chase a doughnut truck on the news.
-unknown