When I cross a one way road, I still look both ways. Just in case there are any women driving.
-unknown
Facebook status
how to take a test: cry on the paper and the choice closest to your tear is the answer
-unknown
*accidentally slams door*
*gets lectured for 84 years*
*gets lectured for 84 years*
-unknown
LIKE if: I will carry 20 grocery bags so I don`t have to make a second trip
-unknown
Cops never say "Thank you for committing a crime and keeping us employed," selfish bastards!
-unknown
It`s crazy to think that before twitter all of these random thoughts stayed in people`s heads.
-unknown
Skinny jeans are like calories. Easy to put on but impossible to take off.
-unknown
U wanna breakup, that`s fine. But u need to make a PowerPoint of all the negatives in our relationship. At least 15 or we staying together.
-unknown
Your stomach begins to contract and produce juices as soon as you see or smell food.
-unknown
People say I lack confidence in myself. They are wrong. I am completely confident that I am terrible at everything.
-unknown