The best way to find out what`s on a females mind is to make her mad. Then all the truth comes out.
-unknown
Facebook status
The fact that the British call math "maths" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math.
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I`ve always wanted to walk up to a stranger and hand them a briefcase and say, "You know what to do"
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Waitress: What do you want to drink?
Me: I`ll have some frozen water and melted ice.
Me: I`ll have some frozen water and melted ice.
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Girl: "Go on, don`t be shy and ask me out."
Boy: "Okay, get out."
Boy: "Okay, get out."
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Teacher: "What is something you need that you can`t see or feel?" Student: "Air." Me: "WiFi."
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A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
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Teacher: Remember, the "f" in Physics stands for fun. Me: But sir, there is no "f" in Physics. Teacher: Exactly!
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"Did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got into a fight with the lawnmower and the lawnmower won."
"No, I got into a fight with the lawnmower and the lawnmower won."
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Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medicine bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness"
-unknown