Twenty years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please, don`t let Kevin Bacon die.
-unknown
Facebook status
I`m a huge fan of 50 Cent or as he`s known in Zimbabwe.. Four hundred million dollars
-unknown
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
-unknown
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
-unknown
Do the Chinese realize when they visit America they`re buying souvenirs made in their own country?
-unknown
Forgetting to bring your phone to the toilet when you`re going to poop is like forgetting to bring a gun to war.
-unknown
Me: "Hurry, give me a shoe to kill the spider!" *Friend gives me my shoe* "No BITCH not MY shoe!"
-unknown
I wish my iPhone would stop correcting `omg` to `OMG`, I`m not that shocked
-unknown
"Are you crying?" "No, I`m impersonating a fountain."
-unknown
Every time i see a hitch-hiker i just pretend that they`re trying to tell me i`m doing a great driving job.
-unknown