Do you think service dogs judge my dog for being unemployed?
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Math teachers help the world by creating problems.
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Your age is just the number of laps you’ve done around a giant fireball in the center of the solar system.
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Dating is putting on fancy clothes so hopefully you can take them off later.
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Putting something in a unique place where I won’t lose it is the most common way I lose things.
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If the hardest part of your day is waking up, you’ve either got a really great life, or a really difficult one.
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Does anybody actually remember the last few seconds before you go to sleep?
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Pain is nature’s way of saying “don’t do that”. Painkillers are man’s way of saying “Watch me”
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When a father calls his daughter a princess, he is subtly calling himself a king.
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If we were eyeless we’d be unaware of color. What if we’re missing some part of reality because we don’t have the organ to detect it?
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