I don`t see why everybody wants the white iPhone, everyone knows the black one runs faster.
-unknown
Facebook status
When I die, I`m going to have "free WiFi" written on my tombstone, that way more people will visit.
-unknown
Good things WON`T come to those that wait! They have to take the things that are left by those who got there first!
-unknown
Why couldn`t the ghost get a drink at the bar? They don`t serve SPIRITS!
-unknown
Saying "Thats crazy" when you haven`t been paying attention to what someone`s saying.
-unknown
Is the baby a boy or a girl? Of course, what else could it be.
-unknown
Just know, while you`re telling that awesome story, everyone else is waiting for you to shut up so they can tell a better one.
-unknown
It`s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
-unknown
If you think nobody cares if you`re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
-unknown
I`d participate in more blind taste tests if they didn`t always scream & hit me with their canes while I`m licking them.
-unknown