Facebook status

"You can`t keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair."

Dear Lord: I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods, because, Lord, if I pray for strength ill beat him to death. AMEN

Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet he’s not laughing out
loud.

is wondering.... if money doesn`t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

promises I`m not stalking you. By the way, you`re out of milk

has advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

Box of Tampax ---- $8
Bottle of Midol -----$6
New Sweatpants --$12
The fact that the male Walmart cashier wouldn`t even look me in the eye, like I might eat his soul or something... $PRICELESS$ Best first day of my period, EVER!!!

It’s a small world so you have to use your elbows a lot.

♥ LOVE always has it`s ``ERRORS`` sometimes we try 2 ``REFRESH`` then realyize it`s best 2 b ``SHUTDOWN`` but the hardest part is 2 ``RESTART`` your life and ``REFORMAT`` your HEART ♥

Tries to fill the empty void in his life by gettign people to like his status updates.