Facebook status

Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top. Men don`t want to reach for them because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who`s brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality

Author: Shuna Holmes

Men want the same thing from our underwear that we want from women: A little bit of support, and a bit of freedom and no shit.

met a beautiful girl at the bar and asked if I could buy her a drink. "I have a boyfriend." She answered. Without skipping a beat I said, "I have a goldfish." Confused, she said, "What?"...To which I replied, "Sorry. I thought we were talking about shit that doesn`t matter"

was just called a "Big Boy"... She obviously has X-Ray vision...

they call me special, but i like to think im a special edition ;)

”the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington

pop pop POPSICLE!! ice ice ICECICLE!! test test..... oh wait :P

Dear Santa, this year, please send
clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy`s computer.

Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that, I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.

We should put together, My Space, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter...and call it: My Face You Twitt !