Why`s NASA never sent a woman to the Moon? Because it doesn`t need cleaning yet.
-unknown
Facebook status
I`ve got a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it... bed.
-unknown
I`m great at remembering names. I just don`t remember which one`s yours. ツ
-unknown
There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money. ツ
-unknown
A guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school`s swimming pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water... Is that wrong?
-unknown
Remember: some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue.
-unknown
I`ve said no to alcohol for years but it still won`t listen.
-unknown
believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
-unknown
I just read a list of `the 100 things to do before you die`. I`m pretty surprised `yell for help` wasn`t one of them...
-unknown
I`ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
-unknown