Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
-unknown
Facebook status
I`m sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
-unknown
You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is over there.
-unknown
is normally not a praying man, but if you`re up there, please save me Superman.
-unknown
thinks that if your relationship status says, "It`s complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
-unknown
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
-unknown
Check this one out.............1. :)
-unknown
who says nothing is impossible I`ve been doing nothing for years.
-unknown
I stepped on a cornflake now I`m a cereal killer
-unknown
If women think they aren`t meant to cook, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?
-unknown