Do you ever start telling your parents a funny story but then you remember the shit you did was illegal
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Facebook status
#Shout-out to everyone who let me copy their homework this year. U the real MVP.
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Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else
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If you ever get stuffed in a trunk, disconnect the backlight wires. When a cop pulls them over, kick the door so they know you are there.
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Save your PowerPoint presentation as a "PowerPoint Show" (.ppsx) and it will open directly to the slideshow
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Instead of going to dinner and a movie, go to the movie first and then dinner. This way at dinner you have something to talk about
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Why is it we always want what we can`t have?
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NEVER underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel guilty for her mistake.
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There`s two sides to each girl: The one you meet when`s she`s in public and the one when she`s alone. Don`t date her until you`ve seen both.
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A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
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