Facebook status
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
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Being attractive is not an excuse for being a shitty person.
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When I`m ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual.
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That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you calls themselves fat.
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LIKE IF: Sitting there listening to your friend`s problems and acting like you`re a psychologist.
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Funny Homeless Sign: Why live in a $100k home when I can live under a three million dollar bridge?
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Shutting the computer off and realizing you need it again.
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Defensive Eating: Strategically consuming food for the sole purpose of preventing others from getting it.
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``Stalking`` is such a strong word; I like to look at it as ``Intense research on an individual``
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I`m so fashionable, even when I`m tired I have designer bags under my eyes.
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