I`m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-unknown
Facebook status
Dear Squirrel in my yard, Just because you froze in place, doesn`t mean you`re invisible. Sincerely, I`m looking right at you.
-unknown
what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again
-unknown
That mini heart attack when the shampoo falls & makes a loud noise when your taking a shower.
-unknown
Your first mistake was leaving me. Your second mistake was giving me the chance to realize I could live without you.
-unknown
When a woman is happy, she can`t stop talking. When she is sad, she doesn`t say a word.
-unknown
A smile can hide everything.
-unknown
Before you ask someone why they hate you, ask yourself why you even care.
-unknown
LIKE IF You tend to say "I don`t know" when you`re just too lazy to think.
-unknown
The problem was not with what you said, it was with what you did not say.
-unknown