Facebook status

Friend: "Omg, your parents are so nice!" ... You: "It`s because you`re here."
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That suspicious moment when you know your friend is hiding something from you
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I have to be a bitch because sometimes being a lady does not get the job done
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Who says I can`t cook? You obviously haven`t tasted my cereal.
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BEFORE b-e-f-o-r-e not "B4" we speak english not bingo.
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Well SOMEONE had extra sugar on their bitch-flakes this morning!!”
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That`s a great story... Can i eat it? :p
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I need to stop being so e̶m̶o̶t̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ SEXY
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I hate it when websites ask, "Are you human?" Well, no, I`m obviously a T-Rex.
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I like Super Mario, He`s like "I`m maaarrio, I`m a italian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican"
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