When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected", slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.
-unknown
Facebook status
Son: Dad, this boy in school keeps calling me gay.. Dad: Are you stupid? Why don`t you just beat him up? Son: I can`t, he`s too cute..
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The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.
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There`s a serial killer in our house! Normal people: "CALL THE POLICE, LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" - In movies: "Lets go find him"
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It`s not that I need to manage my anger, it`s that other people need to manage their stupidity.
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Best memories come from bad ideas.
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Throwing lamps at people that need to lighten up...
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I love that kid that argues with the teacher and entertains the whole class.
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When I get in an elevator, before I press a button, I look at everyone inside & say: "Are you ready to take this shit to a whole new level?"
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We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
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