That awkward moment when you try to scare someone and it doesn`t work.
-unknown
Facebook status
You liked your own Facebook status?........Ok.......You`re cool.
-unknown
``I wasn`t that drunk.`` Dude you threw my parrot and screamed "Angry Birds.``
-unknown
"K" = the most powerful way to piss someone off while texting.
-unknown
Slut: OMG I lost 5 pounds! Nerd: So you finally took off your makeup...
-unknown
Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you.
-unknown
Dumping someone doesn`t always mean you`re heartless. It means we know exactly what we deserve.
-unknown
School homework: "ughh dude, you get it yet?" "nope.. you?" "nahh.." "let`s just leave it for tomorrow"
-unknown
If I had a nickel for every time you made me angry I would put all the money in a bag and whack you with it ♥
-unknown
I wonder how many kids would be failing school if it wasn`t for Google, and who would be passing if it wasn`t for Facebook.
-unknown