Dear everyone, upset, bored, angry or hungry - I`m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.
-unknown
Facebook status
Ice cream brain freeze... Nature`s way of saying, "Slow down & take a breath, fatty."
-unknown
Cop: "Sir, what`s in the bottle next to you? Me: "It`s water" Cop: "Sir, this is wine" Me: "What? Jesus! He did it again!"
-unknown
Facebook should change it from `Friends` to `People you`ve made eye contact with`
-unknown
That "I fail at life" moment when you`re trying to pull up the covers and you punch yourself in the face
-unknown
"Do you realize how many calories are in that?" "Do you realize how much I dont care?"
-unknown
It`s cute when couples act like bestfriends or when bestfriends act like couples.♥
-unknown
People usually complain about their looks, but no one complains about their brains.
-unknown
No mater what I do on the Computer, I always end up on Twitter, Facebook or YouTube.
-unknown
Screw an alarm system. I`ve seen "Home Alone", I know what to do.
-unknown