Reading someone`s status and thinking `oh shut the hell up`
-unknown
Facebook status
Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasn`t done yet.
-unknown
You`re honestly the weirdest person I know, and that is why I love you so much.
-unknown
My parents said I should watch less movies and read more. so I turned on the subtitles.
-unknown
Teacher: "Class please pull out a piece of paper" Me: "Look at me now." Teacher: "Excuse me?" Me: "I`m getting paper."
-unknown
Sadly, no matter how many times you say "okay" your parents will not stop talking.
-unknown
You’ve got two choices. You can either sit and cry or spread your wings and fly.
-unknown
cat : meow me : meow? cat : meow meow me : Holy shit. I can speak cat
-unknown
LIKE IF: Looking down at your watch 3 or 4 times and still not remembering what time it is.
-unknown
When Words Fail Music Speaks.
-unknown