Facebook status

What did the Ocean say to the other Ocean?...Nothing they just Waved...Did you Sea what I did there?...I`m Shore you did, Beach
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Has anyone else ever accidentally imagined someone naked and then NOT been able to get that mental picture out of their head?
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If you can`t take a joke, don`t walk around looking like one.
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Grow younger, live longer, move harder, and love stronger.
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Show people a song nobody cares... But 3 months later, everyone is singing it because....They heard it on the radio.
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Dear Facebook, you should feel special. I`m always choosing you over sleep.
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That painful moment when the roof of your mouth gets stabbed by a Dorito.
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When Americans are like "British guys are so hot!!" and I`m like go watch jeremy kyle
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LIKE IF:The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
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Gently placing your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shh, not another word" is super romantic... but cops don`t seem to think so.
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