Facebook status

LIKE IF: How I use my phone: 50% to check the internet. 20% to text. 15% to take photos. 10% check the time. 5% to actually call.
-unknown
Oh, so you`re naturally beautiful? Mind if I test that out with a wet wipe?
-unknown
Girl: "I`m breaking up with you." Boy:" Can I get a last hug?" *Girl hugs boy* Girl: "Wait, are you covered in glue?" Boy: "Hehe..."
-unknown
Friend: "Hey, guess what I saw today!"
Me: "Everything you looked at."
-unknown
Me + U = <3....Me - U = :(
-unknown
LIKE IF: When it gets awkward at someone else`s house, I pet their dog. (if they have one :) )
-unknown
Sequel to the movie `300` is coming this year. Starring Chuck Norris, and the title is `1`.
-unknown
That sad moment when you realize that the trash goes out more than you do.
-unknown
That awkward moment when you’re singing alone in your car and you make eye contact with a stranger.
-unknown
LIKE IF: I don’t care how old I am, when I see a bubble, I will hunt the bitch down and kill it.
-unknown