Please proceed with Caution! I am allergic to bullshit and I react to it with verbal commonsense and proactive logic.
-Dorian
Facebook status
She was my world, until I found another planet.
-Vicky
Me: "Need help with the dishes?" Mom: "Oh no thank you. I got this." *10 minutes later* Mom: "I swear I get no help around this house...!"
-unknown
Admit it. This is how we explain our conversations, "I was like- then she was like- and then I was like- and she was like."
-unknown
You know you`re amazing when people you don`t even know hate you.
-unknown
I wish I could just "like" a text so I didn`t have to respond.
-unknown
LIKE IF: A rejected high five is one of the biggest insults there is.
-unknown
"I live with no regrets." "No, you live with your parents..."
-unknown
That awkward moment when you laugh so hard, your eyes water and people think you`re crying.
-unknown
LIKE IF : I`m shy at first but.. I do the stupidest random shit when I get comfortable with someone.
-unknown