Cheating isn`t an accident, it`s a choice.
-unknown
Facebook status
Those awkward forced car conversations with your friend`s parents.
-unknown
Being on the internet, watching television and using my phone at the same time, I`m so damn talented.
-unknown
No, I didn`t stalk you. It was on my news feed. Get over yourself.
-unknown
Dear gym teacher, how the hell are you fat? Sincerely, you teach exercise for a living!
-unknown
LIKE if you think it`s true: The prettiest girls have an `A` in their name (;
-unknown
"you ask!" "no, you ask!" " I`m not gonna ask, you ask!" "uh fine, excuse me! my friend would like to ask you a question!"
-unknown
PARENTS: Why are you awake so early? ME: Who said I went to sleep?
-unknown
Cop: "When is your birthday?" Me: " August 6." Cop: "What year?" Me: "Every year!" Cop: "Well played..."
-unknown
In a group picture, theres always a retard doing the peace sign.
-unknown