Pushing doors that say pull and looking like an idiot.
-unknown
Facebook status
Half a dozen: because "six" is way too long.
-unknown
LIKE IF: Whenever I delete text messages, I feel like I’m deleting evidence..
-unknown
I have a smart phone with a dumb battery
-unknown
Yeah, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.... but there’s also sharks, seaweed and toxic waste.
-unknown
I`m not stealing my neighbor`s WiFi, their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
-unknown
Dear Millionaires, if you don’t have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you’re spending it wrong.
-unknown
Teacher: Come on! You learned this in 3rd grade! Me: I can`t remember what I ate for breakfast.
-unknown
I wish my brain had a GPS to tell me where my heart should go.
-unknown
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is bullshit!!
-unknown