Alcohol is just the liquid version of Photoshop.
-unknown
Facebook Man facebook status
"I wasn`t that drunk." Dude you made your girlfriend a sandwich.
-unknown
If the argument ends with her saying "Fine" ... trust me, nothing is fine.
-unknown
What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? Single.
-unknown
Make a good impression on her parents. Even if you don`t particularly like them, they can be your greatest allies in the long run.
-unknown
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
-unknown
Worlds Shortest Joke: 2 women were sitting quietly..
-unknown
"Bro can I use your phone to call my girlfriend?"
"Yeah sure, just hit redial."
"Yeah sure, just hit redial."
-unknown
I don`t think I`m that good at telling time. She said she`d love me forever, and I thought forever was a lot longer.
-unknown
Behind every great man is a great woman. And behind that great woman is the great man`s bank account.
-unknown