Weight loss tip: Don`t eat so much, you fat piece of shit.
-unknown
Facebook Food statuses
Don’t try to tell me that hungry is not an emotion because I feel that in my soul.
-unknown
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don’t you eat all the food?
-unknown
Blood is thicker then water, but maple syrup is thicker then blood. Therefore pancakes are more important than family.
-unknown
I drank a Red Bull, so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off your trees let me know.
-unknown
My favorite drink is the next one.
-unknown
wish my wallet was as fat as my thighs
-unknown
lets play a game called you bring me food and I eat it
-unknown
You can`t buy happiness... But you can buy scotch, and that`s pretty damn close.
-unknown
pizza is the only love triangle I want
-unknown