If I ever become famous, this Twitter account never happened
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I`ve got news for you...standing closer to me in line will not make the line go faster.
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That annoying moment when you take your headphones out of your pocket and they`re tangled into a trillion knots!
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Wanting someone to say a certain thing because you have the perfect answer.
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When you want to secretly listen to a conversation, put some headphones in and pretend you are listening to music...
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Dear life, when I said "Can my day get any worse?"...it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
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"Can I ask u something?" "Aren`t you already asking..."
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Stop using "YOLO" as an excuse to act stupid.
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Getting paid to sleep = My dream job.
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Swearing; because sometimes, calling someone a cotton-headed ninny-muggins just won`t do it.
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