Now I understand why Peter Pan never wanted to grow up.
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I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and funny as hell.
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The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen
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Growing up wouldn`t be so bad if there wasn`t so many responsibilities.
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Remember when people actually used their cell phones for talking?
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People who cross the street without looking. I love your faith in me. (!!)
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I`m not funny. I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
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My favorite texts are the ones where you re-read and it still puts a smile on your face like it`s the first time you read it.
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I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up...
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The things I would do for a few extra hours of sleep...
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