I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
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So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in?
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anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
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Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
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My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
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When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them motivation.
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Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
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Commercials are only good when I`m hungry or need to pee.
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There’s always that one person you regret giving your number to.
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Using "My Phone Died" as an Excuse Not to Respond to People
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