I`m a lazy texter. I read a text and I forget to even reply. If I text you 24/7 then you must be freaking special.
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I`m not always a total bad ass sometimes I sleep you know
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PEOPLE WHO SMILE AT YOU WHEN U MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THEM ARE MY FAVORITE KIND OF PEOPLE
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liking someone and pretending you don’t is a lot of hard work
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Wear shirt two times: Dirty
Wear hoodie every day for three months: Still clean.
Wear hoodie every day for three months: Still clean.
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If a robber ever breaks in, I`ll just pretend to be one too, and we`ll laugh and hug and he`ll leave because I have first dibs.
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The fact that the British call math "maths" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math.
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I`ve always wanted to walk up to a stranger and hand them a briefcase and say, "You know what to do"
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Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medicine bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness"
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*accidentally slams door*
*gets lectured for 84 years*
*gets lectured for 84 years*
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