That one kid in gym class who treats it like the Olympics.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Those girls on "My Super Sweet 16" that get pissed when daddy buys them the wrong car. Bitch, I don`t even have a bike.
-unknown
*Low battery* *Low battery* *Low battery* Well apparently you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds.
-unknown
No matter how old you are, whenever you walk into a glass door you pretend like you meant to do that.
-Zaighem
They say that money can`t solve problems, but I`m pretty sure it would solve my money problem.
-unknown
$19.99 because $20 is an outrageous amount of money.
-unknown
I’m in shape. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong one.
-unknown
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
-unknown
"What`s your relationship status?" "Well, a little bit more unlucky than the squirrel from the Ice Age ."
-unknown
Hardest job ever. Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.
-unknown