That awkward moment when your color blind friend thinks they’ve solved a rubix cube.
-unknown
funny facebook status
No mom, you`re mad because you`re wrong, not because I`m talking back.
-unknown
"Dad can I have some Jordans?" "Jordans? What do you need vans for? Sketchers are more than enough. Here, have some Crocs."
-unknown
Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman.. Then be Batman.
-unknown
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding :)
-unknown
Today my friend said that onions are the only food that can make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
-Dorian
Me: I`m just gonna take a quick 10 minute nap
*Wakes up April 13 2079*
-unknown
"What did you buy me for my birthday?" "You see that pink Mercedes over there?" "OMG! Yes!" "Well I bought you a toothbrush the same color"
-unknown
"THIS IS SPARTA!" "Grandma, please stop kicking the dog down stairs...."
-unknown
Walmart: "Let`s buy 30 cash registers...and only keep two open!"
-unknown