"Did your mom drop you as a baby?" "Yeah, into a pool of sexy."
-unknown
funny facebook status
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5 or 6 times, just to be sure..
-unknown
They should name hurricanes with black people names. I`d be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
-Ronde
Slapping your friend when you get excited about something..
-unknown
That awkward moment when I`m really drunk and you`re still ugly.
-unknown
In a parallel world: “wow that Nickelback concert was amazing” “Those crocs look so cute” “Wifi passwords are such a cool idea”
-unknown
“I`M A GANGSTAH!!!” Hah, no. You`re an asshole who doesn`t know what a belt is.
-unknown
I don`t like that tone of voice you`re texting me in.
-unknown
*2 new messages* Mom: I love you. Mom: Sorry wrong person. Me: ( ._.)
-unknown
"HOW LONG IS THIS DORITOS COMMERCIAL!?" Grandma, thats Jersey Shore.
-unknown