Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
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funny facebook status
If you spill a cleaning product, did you make a mess?
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That moment when there`s a mosquito in your house and you feel like a victim...
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I just took a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.
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Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head.”
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I finally found love. Page 346 in the dictionary .
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`Message Not Sent` ... B!tch Don`t Play With Me After I Typed All That!
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Think of a number between 0 and 20 Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It`s dark isn`t it
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If you ask me to hold your drink, I will drink it.
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Sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch. I had no idea you thought it was a secret.
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