funny facebook status

If aliens ever land here and demand to see our leader, I think our best chance of survival would be to bring them Lady Gaga.
-unknown
Some people are as useless as the p in psycho.
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My Sister married an Asian billionaire.... Cha Ching
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The fake laugh you do when you don’t understand what somebody just said to you. You`re like :D but deep inside you`re like o_O”
-unknown
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
-unknown
If it quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, and smells like a duck, it`s probably a Unicorn wearing a duck costume
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In China, you name your child after the sound you hear by dropping silverwear down the stairs
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Two words: I hate math.
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Hardest job in the world: Police sketch artist in China.
-unknown
They should name hurricanes with black people names. I`d be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
-unknown

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