You know it`s cold outside when you go outside and it`s cold.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?” Spongebob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus
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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto.
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What do you call a pig who does karate? Pork chop.
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Dear Parents, Thanks for giving me such a weird name. Sincerely, my name is never on those customized keychains.
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A true friend will play ninja with you in the middle of Walmart and think it`s normal.
-unknown
Whenever I get mad, I just imagine a t-rex trying to pick up a basketball.
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Air hostess: "Would you like some headphones?" Me: "How did you know my name is Phones?"
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I`m sorry, what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.
-unknown
Who needs Swag when you have Gangnam Style?
-unknown